Where The Weather is Wacky and the Forecasts Don't Matter

Yes, Comedian/Host Drew Carey knows what's up with Ohio weather

I've been in the Midwest long enough to get the joke about Ohio (and other surrounding states) having eleven or twelve seasons rather than the traditional four.

This year proved to be no different, starting off with a (way) early Spring in early January, which was quickly displaced by brief spell of Polar Vortex, and then followed by an elongated period of the "Big Snow coming - psych!" season, where seeming promising big snow days were turned into groan-inducing "mixed precipitation" slushfests.

Winter hung around like a drunken sailor late March well into May, never allowing Spring to gain a solid foothold and keeping the soils exceedingly soggy - I recall I didn't get a chance to mow the well overgrown back yard until just before Memorial Day.

Visions of Noah and his ark came to many in June, when deluge-type rains threatened to drastically cut into the state's prized corn crop and overwhelmed quite a few basements.  Then, a not overly hot but often humid summer season took over, drying things to the point where some parts of the state reside in mild drought status. Despite a few head fakes from the Autumn season, this has remained the status quo into October, so much so that some folks are wishing Summer completely away. If all the forecasts are correct, those cooler vibes will have arrived to this region the same day this blog post was published.

Califrozencation

A couple of months after my move to Ohio, I was asked how I was dealing with the Buckeye State's winter. At that time, the winter had been something of a mild one, with little in the way of either snow or single-digit temperatures (naturally, those events occurred on the days when I was unloading my stuff from my shipment pod AND the day we moved our belongings into a bigger place.)

A friend of my wife told me then: "Oh, noooo, this doesn't count. You really haven't experienced an Ohio winter yet."

Well, two solidly cold winters (well, one solidly cold one plus a solidly cold February) have arrived since that fateful statement, and I believe they have had quite a profound effect on the logical portion of my brain. I find myself saying some rather weird things nowadays. To wit:

"Walking the snowy sidewalk with regular work shoes? Yes! I love me a challenge!"

"Big snowflakes! Yeah, none of that pixie dust! 

C'mon, Mother Nature...do your worst!"

"Thank goodness it's only single-digit negative wind chills this morning."

"Hmmm, reminds me of an ice pizza...mmmm, pizza."

"You know, I actually prefer this to San Francisco freeways at rush hour."

In all seriousness, Ohio winters have bolstered my cold-weather tolerances pretty well, from the negative-temperature wind chills to the sometimes treacherous trek to your car or back home due to ice and snow. The bonus part is I do get some beautiful sights that I just couldn't get in the Bay Area proper such as a frozen fountain at Goodale Park.

With that said, my spouse and I, and probably most Ohioans will agree: the quicker winter gets its ass out here, the better. Bring on spring!